The 12 Traditions, character development, and personality

It seems to me that the 12 Traditions can serve as a bolt-on character structure.

And that living within that bolt-on character structure (our own life on its own, our life in the fellowship, or both), can directly or indirectly result in character development that is helpful for recovery.

A few points about personality

As human beings, we tend to take our own personality for granted. And our own personality can be a bit hard to spot at times. It’s like the world we live in every day, and we just don’t realize it’s even there.

A cartoon image of this idea that each of us tend to take our own personality for granted is the goldfish bowl where one goldfish asks another, “What is ‘water’?”

It’s just so naturally and automatically there, such that we often can’t even detect it – if we give it any thought at all.

Personality as an ecosystem, and a lens of perception

Going further, for each of us, our personality is like an ecosystem we inhabit. It can be helpful to think of personality concretely like that.

And personality is also a lens of perception in at least two ways.

One way is from the outside-in. Our personality is literally a prism through which the outside world comes in to us. And is perceived. Yes, that means our personality can alter our perceptions for better or worse. And that also means we actually form the world we perceive through the lens of our personality – at least in part.

Another way is from the inside-out. The formation of our thoughts and our predictions about the world are at least somewhat altered by our personality. And we project that material out onto the world from the inside. And again, this can be for better or worse.

These are combined

And yes, we combine what we perceive from the outside, and project from the inside, into one coherent view of the world.

For each of us, our world is an illusion, at least in part. And we’re relatively blind to our own contextual frame (our personality) while forming our worldview.

Is the world I perceive and understand the same as what is perceived and understood by everyone else around me? Hardly.

The 12 Traditions

It’s in this context that the 12 Traditions seem especially vital to me.

I recall Bill White saying something that added up to the idea that it wasn’t the Steps per se that made AA or NA effective – but that the 12 Steps of AA and NA are effective due to the Traditions.

In expounding this he made it clear that the program and path located in the Steps, by themselves, are merely ingredients. But that when the Steps are put in the context of the 12 Traditions, they become potent and impactful in a much better way.

Back to personality

For me, then, it seems that the 12 Traditions provide us an alternative, ready-made, bolt-on character structure we can inhabit.

We can inhabit the Traditions personally, on our own. And we can also inhabit the external structure of the Traditions at the level of the “we”, as we live and swim within the fellowship.

Both our personal experience of ourselves, and our personal experience of ourselves within the “we”, are improved by the 12 Traditions.

One way is pruning what needs pruning. And another is growing what needs growing. These often happen simultaneously.

An “Individualist”

I was speaking with some colleagues about personality recently, and some common personality tests like the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs came up. One colleague asked if the others in the conversation used the Enneagram. And everyone said they did.

The one asking said they weren’t really sure the Enneagram was that great of a tool.

I asked, “Have you taken the Enneagram? What did it show?”

They said they had, and it was a “Four”. Then they said they weren’t sure about that result, and a few years later they took the Enneagram again. And it came out different. And a few years later they took it again and it came out different again. And they did it one more time a few years after that, and it was different once again. It was different each time.

“What is the ‘Four” in the Enneagram?”, I asked.

They said, “The Individualist.”

I said, “So an Individualist/Enneagram 4 took the Enneagram, turned out as an Individualist, and wasn’t sure it was right. They took it again years later and it turned out different. And they took it two more times over the years and turned out different each time. And that person isn’t sure they are an ‘Individualist'”.

Everyone laughed and got the point – even the Four. Everyone received that reflection very well, as we all know each other and get along well anyway.

The “Challenger”

Later that week I recounted this to an Enneagram 8 (aka “The Challenger”) who was in that meeting. And while I was recounting it the person who is a “Challenger” frowned, crinkled up their face in some disagreement, and physically winced.

I merely said, “So the 8/Challenger just doesn’t want to agree with that story as a story?”

That person relaxed and laughed in response to that reflection.

Two Practical Examples

Al-Anon. Years ago, a very experienced clinician running a continuing care group for people who’ve completed primary addiction treatment told me a story that fits this topic.

They told me a vignette about a very narcissistic and argumentative individual, prone to anger and intellectual self-satisfaction, who came to individual counseling very angry and controlling once again.

The counselor added an assignment: alter your four 12-step meetings per week for the first year to include one Al-Anon meeting as one of the four. And each time you attend a weekly Al-Anon meeting, do not speak or share – just listen.

I’ve never forgotten that story. Or the impact of hearing that counselor explain the assignment for that individual.

Tradition-working guide. Years ago, a different very experienced addiction counselor shared with me a resource they came across. It was a Tradition-Working guide connected to NA. (Not a Step-Working guide).

Needless to say, learning about that Tradition-Working guide has never left me. That resource is linked down below.

In Summary

An axiom in psychology is that “personality is ego-syntonic”. That means we each take our own personality for granted, don’t notice it, and accept it as an automatically assumed thing we aren’t even consciously aware of. It’s that natural to us.

And to me, the Traditions apply right there.

Given what they are, they serve at least in part as a pre-prepared character structure for our self as an individual. And they also apply in this way as we experience the community of the Fellowship we inhabit.

These both have beneficial impacts over time. Pruning what needs pruned. And growing what needs to grow.

Another axiom in psychology is that personality can be modified at least somewhat over our lifespan.

With all of this in mind, it seems to me the 12 Traditions can specifically help in the arena of character development.

How so?

The Traditions can help make some things more noticeable. And they can help us to sort between what we find to be ego-dystonic and the character traits we find attractive and helpful.

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Resources

Perhaps someone will find this information or these resources helpful or encouraging.

Spiritual Principles of the Traditions

One of my favorite resources pertaining to the 12 Traditions are the “Spiritual Principles in the Twelve Traditions” provided by OA. That list can be found here.

Many are familiar with the spiritual principles of the Steps but are not aware that there are spiritual principles identified for the Traditions

Tradition-Working Guide

My other favorite resource related to the Traditions is this kind of Tradition Working Guide. 

Many are familiar with working guides specific to the Steps but are not aware that there are similar working guides for the Traditions.

Stages and Styles of Addiction Recovery. William White. August 11, 2017.

Tactical and Strategic Use of the Preferred Defense Structure of the Recovering Alcoholic. John Wallace, PhD, posted by William White.

A classic practice in addiction counseling: the group or house checking the “we”

“Throw Flour On the Invisible Man”: Toward locating recovery function and assessing recovery quality

Comments on the Practical Use of Personality

There’s a workbook that links the Enneagram (all 9 styles) with the 12 Steps. It’s called The 9 and 12 Workbook. It’s by Don Carroll and is easy to find with a simple internet search.