Mistakes are the location of learning. And we give them no regard.
The first time I heard the world-class electric bass player Jeff Berlin say this in an interview, I was really struck.
What Jeff was describing was the emotional part of the process of any player at any level improving their craft.
He pointed out that students and intermediate players especially should re-frame their own mistakes when they notice them. He said mistakes are the location of learning. And that knowing what one needs to learn or improve is a very good thing – as opposed to not knowing or being vague about what one needs to improve.
But he went further than that.
He explained that while one is better off to know what needs to be improved, one should not be emotionally bound to their own error when they do make a mistake. The player can just notice their error with gratitude that they now know what to improve. And in that way, the mistake is not given negative emotional regard.
I found the way he said this – the exact quote up above – very easy to memorize and to meditate upon.
As I’ve meditated on this quotation over the years, it’s occurred to me how great an example it is of 3rd wave CBT, such as in the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) approach.
In ACT, when we err, we note the error – and then move in the valued direction. We move toward our goals. We do not spiral into negative self-noticing and critical self-talk. And we do not continue to speak to ourselves harshly about our mistake, and feel bad about ourselves in an on-going way.
We simply move in the valued direction while emotionally detaching from the error we noticed.
I really like Jeff’s quotation here, and what a memorable and helpful re-framing opportunity it provides.
