Mom loved us and hated the alcoholic also living in her body

~ Jason Schwartz

From Humans of New York:

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“She was filled with regret before she died. She felt like she’d failed us as a mother tremendously.”

“Did she say something to you about it?”

“She never said anything, so I don’t have any tangible proof that she had regrets. But she had a very bad substance abuse problem. And I know she always wanted to be a good mother. So I separate my mom from her disease. I always imagine that my mom and an alcoholic were living in the same body. And I know that my mom loved us. And that she hated the alcoholic.”

Published by Jason Schwartz

I have been an addiction professional and social worker since 1994. I started blogging in 2005 as the Clinical Director at Dawn Farm. I no longer work at Dawn Farm and am now the Director of Behavioral Medicine at a community hospital, and a lecturer at Eastern Michigan University’s School of Social Work. Views expressed here are my own. Keep in mind that the field, the contexts in which the field operates, and my views have changed over time.

2 thoughts on “Mom loved us and hated the alcoholic also living in her body”

  1. Jason, first and foremost, I am sorry for your loss. You sound like a very loving and insightful son.
    I have a son who became addicted to prescription pain medication after a motorcycle accident. He fought for 5 difficult years before dying this past September from an overdose. I too believe he loved his family (and especially his children) but hated his addiction. Two different “people” living in the same body.
    I hope by seeing your post others may gain a greater understanding of addiction. It is the most horrible of diseases and destroys many lives along it’s path. Thank you for sharing your experience. And again, I am so very sorry for your loss.

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    1. Terry,

      Thanks for the kinds words, but these were not my words. (My mother’s alive and well.) This was a quote from “Humans of NY”, a page the takes pictures of random people in NY and shares comments from the person.

      However, I shared it because I also thought it might help others gain a better understanding of addiction and offer a different way to think about their loved ones.

      I’m very sorry for your loss.

      Take care,

      Jason

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