Mom loved us and hated the alcoholic also living in her body

From Humans of New York:


“She was filled with regret before she died. She felt like she’d failed us as a mother tremendously.”

“Did she say something to you about it?”

“She never said anything, so I don’t have any tangible proof that she had regrets. But she had a very bad substance abuse problem. And I know she always wanted to be a good mother. So I separate my mom from her disease. I always imagine that my mom and an alcoholic were living in the same body. And I know that my mom loved us. And that she hated the alcoholic.”

2 thoughts on “Mom loved us and hated the alcoholic also living in her body

  1. Jason, first and foremost, I am sorry for your loss. You sound like a very loving and insightful son.
    I have a son who became addicted to prescription pain medication after a motorcycle accident. He fought for 5 difficult years before dying this past September from an overdose. I too believe he loved his family (and especially his children) but hated his addiction. Two different “people” living in the same body.
    I hope by seeing your post others may gain a greater understanding of addiction. It is the most horrible of diseases and destroys many lives along it’s path. Thank you for sharing your experience. And again, I am so very sorry for your loss.


    1. Terry,

      Thanks for the kinds words, but these were not my words. (My mother’s alive and well.) This was a quote from “Humans of NY”, a page the takes pictures of random people in NY and shares comments from the person.

      However, I shared it because I also thought it might help others gain a better understanding of addiction and offer a different way to think about their loved ones.

      I’m very sorry for your loss.

      Take care,



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